My Journey Through Bilateral Pulmonary Embolisms: A Story of Fear, Tests, and a Wedding

It was 1:00am on May 30, 2022, and I experienced something that would change my life forever—bilateral pulmonary embolisms (PEs) in my lungs. At first, I thought it was just an anxiety attack. I had no idea what was really happening. But when the pain didn’t subside, and I couldn't breathe, I knew there as an issue. I had just returned home from a girls trip with my best friend Bethany, so thankfully my mom was staying at my house (she watched my pups while I was gone). I called her on her cellphone because I didn't have the strength to yell.

Shortly after, I was rushed to the hospital. The fear of not knowing what was wrong overwhelmed me, especially when doctors initially dismissed my symptoms as stress-related. I had always been someone who fought through challenges, but this felt different. The tests came one after another, and with each step, I feared the worst until it was finally confirmed: I had multiple PEs in both my lungs. It was a terrifying time, and I feared for my life. I didn’t know what the outcome would be, but in the darkest moments, I held on to my faith. I found comfort in knowing that God was with me, even when the fear seemed overwhelming.

I clung to the words of Psalm 34:4, “I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.” It reminded me that no matter how uncertain life becomes, God is always there to guide and protect us through the storms.

I was then taken to another hospital with different equipment, and admitted into ICU—just five days before my baby sister’s wedding, where I was the Maid of Honor. I had been looking forward to this moment for months, and yet there I was, hooked up to machines, trying to breathe and hold it together.

It was a surreal experience—knowing my sister’s big day was approaching, unable to be there for her on the biggest week of her life, and being uncertain if I’d even be well enough to attend. There was so much going through my mind: the fear of missing out, the worry over my health, and the heartbreak of not knowing if I could be there for her on such a special day.

Luckily, after five long days in the hospital and begging the doctors, I was stable enough to leave. The doctors monitored me closely, and despite the physical and emotional exhaustion, I made it to her wedding. I stood by her side for a short period of time, a little slower and more fragile than usual, but incredibly grateful to be there.

Going through this ordeal taught me a lot about strength, resilience, and perspective. It was a terrifying journey, but it also gave me a deeper appreciation for life, love, and the importance of showing up—even when life feels uncertain. To anyone reading this, remember that no matter how uncertain or overwhelming life may seem, you are stronger than you realize. Even when you feel like giving up or don’t know how things will work out, hold on to hope. Life has a way of surprising us when we least expect it, and you can get through the toughest of times, one step at a time. You are not alone.